There’s been a bit of a discussion on the BTV forums about support groups… and I happened to take workshop for support group facilitators last week… so I thought I would touch on a few things I took from that class here and there.
I’ve been going to a support group at least twice a month since a couple months before my surgery.. hmm.. about a year now.
Maybe the first thing to look at is just what a support group is, according to Merriam-Webster; “a group of people with common experiences and concerns who provide emotional and moral support for one another”.
Probably one of the most well-known support groups out there would be Alcoholics Anonymous, but support groups are not just about addictions. The “common experience” can be an illness (mental or physical), a loss of some sort, or a shared experience such as victims of a natural disaster.
Something to keep in mind is that a support group is not a therapy group. They are generally an group of individuals organized around a common experience and often are simply facilitated by a member of the group. The focus tends to be on supportive communication, not necessarily on resolution of the deeper issues. Support groups can be very positive experiences for the participants, but they can also trigger deeper issues.
The Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders has a pretty decent, more in depth look at what support groups are.
In the workshop, one of the first things the instructor said is one of the things I think really sums up what a support group.. should be.
A support group is a place where you can honestly answer the question “how are you?”
Support groups create a nuturing, safe environment filled with people that have something in common, be it weight loss surgery, loss of a loved one, fighting cancer, or dealing with an addiction.
“It’s one thing to lose something, it’s another when nobody in your universe realizes it.”
Friends and family may love you and have nothing but the best of intentions, and can be very supportive, but there is something to the whole bit about how if you haven’t “been there”, you can’t really “get it”.
Ok, so all that said… where can you find a support group?
Start out with your surgeon’s office. Most places will have groups through their office or the hospital they’re associated with, and often these will be free to attend.
Most surgeons and insurance companies are going to require a psychological evaluation before surgery. Check with them, this is how I found the primary support group I attend.
Another source is online. The number of online sites that focus not just on weight loss but on bariatric surgies is growing all the time, using online discussion forums to bring folks together. Some are focused on a specific surgery type, but most are about WLS in general but may have sub-sections specific to the various surgeries. Even the hospital I had my surgery at has an online area as a way to get additional support.
Of course I can’t recommend the forums at bariatrictv.com enough. While I’ve checked out a number of sites over the last year or so, BTV is one I’ve always felt comfortable at. (Feel free to recommend your favorite in the comments.)
Be it in person, online, or a mix of both, finding a group (or groups) you are comfortable with is the key to this though. If you can’t become comfortable in the group, you won’t be able to give an honest answer to that question “how are you?”.
