Originally published April 17, 2009
This posting came about from my thoughts in a discussion on the forums over at bariatrictv.com – I’ll write more about the site later… let’s just say it’s a support forum for folks who have had or are looking in to weight loss surgery. It’s a small, but growing group of some very great folks… I highly recommend checking it out if you have been through WLS or are considering it as an option.
It started out with a sort of mini-rant about the term “morbid obesity” by one of the few other guys on the site. He’s typically pretty light-hearted about things, and I believe he was looking to generate a bit of good-natured discussion. I hope he forgives the fact that my response wasn’t quite along those lines. I’ve tweeked the following a bit from what I posted there, mostly just to eliminate a direct reference or such…
I’ve been trying to think of how to reply to this for a lil bit. The more I thought, the more it stirred up in me.
I understand the emotional ties to such a term… we all do… I grew up as the “fat kid”. In a new school in 8th grade my nickname was “porky portinga”.
But “obese” does not describe who I am. It is a medical condition from which I suffer, which happens to have gotten to the point of being diagnosed as “morbid obesity”, because like others have pointed out… every day I was living, suffering under that current condition I was accelerating myself towards death. 10 days ago I was in a position where I had already made significant enough improvements (losing about 60pounds pre-op) that I was already adding to my life expectancy.
My “condition” has dictated a lot of things for me over the years. It has been affecting me in untold ways… physically, mentally, emotionally for nearly as long as I have memories. There were times I thought I could beat this, that I should be able to beat this, through sheer will alone. Other times I ignored it… resigned to the fact that my condition was as much a part of me as my left foot… but the key word there is “condition”.
I believe it’s only recently that I’ve truly come to understand that this is a medical condition, a disease that I suffer from in just the same way that one can suffer from diabetes or arthritis.
9-days ago, I had a procedure done that will help me treat this condition. There are many “treatments” out there for obesity, but I think this is the best for me. Dr. Johnson has given me a new tool for me to use, one that at the very least will change my diagnosis from morbidly obese to simply obese.
I need to lose about 80# from where I am today to get to that line where the medical community draws the distinction between healthy and obese. I may never cross that line, and I’m ok with that, because I know I will be infinitely more healthy at that point than I am today. While I do have a number in mind, I hesitate to call it a goal… because I may not quite reach it and feel that I am good where I am at… that I am “healthy”, as much in mind as body as I need to be…. or… maybe I’ll go past it… maybe I’ll wipe the term “obese” from my medical records for the first time since before I was a teenager.
I currently suffer from morbid obesity, and … this may seem like a stretch to some… but I guess I’m looking at it a bit like a cancer. A cancer I am about to beat the bloody hell in to submission. And I’m going to have to continue to beat it down every day for the rest of my life. A year ago, I was resigned to not even fight it. I don’t know exactly what it was… if there was any one thing that made me change my mind last fall when I started looking in to WLS, but I did. And right now I can look at that morbidly obese diagnosis and say “bring it on.”
Amen, Rob. Amen.
My obesity is in remission, but it could flair up at any moment. I recognize and respect that fact, but I choose not to fear it.
I think you and I share the philosophy that life is to be lived to the fullest. Morbid obesity robbed us of that opportunity; bariatric surgery gave it back.
Keep fighting that good fight. One day. One bite. One chew at a time.