Today (the 8th) is my three month anniversary… and by luck of the calendar is the 13 week mark as well. I am right at.. or maybe even just under 250 pounds… which means nearly 130 pounds lost.
In some ways it feels like it’s been… ages. I barely remember being in the hospital. The weeks of liquid diet, pureed foods, they are distant memories.
Instead, I’ve been having fun with some cooking this week, I’m looking forward to yet some more paintball this coming weekend. Of course I’m always working on getting more exercis, and other than a couple rather minor dumping episodes, and some general funkyness the other week, overall I’m feeling great. Even more so, I’m feeling pretty damn lucky.
There’s this woman in my support group… I talked with her for a few minutes last night. She’s got a different sort of anniversary this week, one she’s not celebrating very much. 1 month from surgery… and she’s still in the hospital.
She has been through the wringer, and then some.
She called me as she was waiting for them to come get her for yet another MRI. She’s been having problems from day one… first a UTI, and problems swallowing, even water. Eventually they found some leaks, but not before giving her a massive heart attack because when they went to do a catscan, they gave her some junk that her charts clearly said she was allergic too.
Then the pneumonia hit.
I’ve tried texting her a few times this last week. Found out why she didn’t get back to me till last night. She was in a coma for three days and she nearly died on the operating table last week… she’s had 4-5 other operations the last couple weeks, and I guess during one her heart became enlarged or something to the point they stopped the surgery and closed her up then and there to “save” the heart… and then went back the next day to finish what they started. I think that’s part of what led to the coma… she said something about how it’s from all the anaesthesia.
Now they’re talking bout inducing one to help her with the pain because she has pneumonia in both lungs, and both have collapsed at some point over the last few days.
And I have no idea what to say to her. Early on, she was talking about how she regretted having the surgery. I would try to encourage her, telling her how after she got through this, she’d look back at this and be happy cause of how much she’ll have progressed in her weight loss.
But what do you say to someone who’s been in a coma, had a heart attack, both lungs collapse… and basically nearly died at least a couple times in the last three weeks?
I mean really? What do you say?
She mentioned how she’s taking a different view on things/life. I tried to relate that to her how I too have been looking at things differently… and realize that had I not done this, I’d very likely been dead inside of 10 years. But is that helpful to someone who almost died last week? Or is it like bragging?
I dunno… I think our talk helped her, I hope it did. I don’t know her that well, she was only at one of our group meetings before her surgery. To top it off she’s new in town and has pretty much no friends, and just one family member really in the area. I’ve visited once, and will try to do so again… and this will sound selfish, but I’m not sure I know what to say any more. I can listen, but… just sitting there and nodding…? I dunno…
My thoughts are with her…. and I know she is the very rare case here…. I just keep hoping she gets over this “hump” and in a few more months will be feeling as lucky as I do now.
If you’re reading this, and you’re considering WLS, don’t let this deter you. This kind of thing is so friggen rare… it’s off the charts. But yea… I’ll be honest, this is MAJOR surgery, and there are risks. Risks tht include all of the above she’s going through and including dying.
It would be foolish not to acknowledge that, but I’m not sure you need to dwell on it. Would I have really died in the next ten years if I didn’t do this? I don’t know. I couldn’t tell you that with any more certainty than I could tell you I wouldn’t have died having the surgery or from complications after. But I think my odds were better with having it.
And just three months later, I can look back and KNOW that I made the right decision to have that surgery… and I’m ever so hopeful that three more months from now, she will be able to look back and say the same.
image from freeclipartnow.com
You’re right, this is major surgery, and when we chose to do it it’s because we feel our health is more at risk WITHOUT the surgery than with.
I haven’t made the losses you have, but I’m still happy with my surgery. I’m losing, and I’m pretty sure that by next fall I’ll hit my personal goal weight, even if it’s not where the doctors thought I should be (in fact, all my doctors have different weights, and there’s about a 30 lb difference, which is a whole lot!)
Just to let you know she is not a rare case…I know someone right at this moment experiencing the same thing…I had WLS almost 6 years ago, and regretted it ever since…I was ok until my 3 year post opt…Then the gates opened and the flood began…I can’t stress enough what can happen and usually does…Malnourishment, Pernicious Anemia, Iron shot , Lack of Vitamin D, Calcium, difficulty swallowing and the list goes on…I have to every 3 months go in and get an IV bag of Vitamins since my body doesn’t absorb anything not even liquids…And now my veins are collapsing cause it’s too much for my body to handle…I’m glad you have had success but not all of us has…I will send you my website when it gets up…
Not to diminish anything you’ve gone through, and it’s hard to ignore stories like this, but I still have to believe they are by far the exception, and not the rule. That it is indeed rare.
It would be interesting to read some stats on this… but if it’s less than 5% of the cases, yea… I would say that’s rare.
That said, even being rare, it is a possibility, one that needs to be considered by anyone looking into WLS… but it has to be done realistically.
I thought the success rate was very good as well…Until I started having problems…When that happened I began to research more and there are so many stories like mine…Again, I hope you don’t have any complications in the weeks, months and years to come…I have come to find out that people who have had RNY procedures in particular have the most complications…I read an article a couple of weeks ago that the Mayo Clinic reported on people who have had this procedure and lack of Vitamin D and they didn’t know a percentage of how many it would effect, but they realize it’s alot bigger then they anticipated…That is just one vitamin deficiency and there are so many other complications from this that you would be amazed at…
I wish you the very best of luck and congratulations on the weight that you have lost…
So sorry to hear about your friend – she’s lucky to have someone who has also been through this to chat with. I’m sure just having a friendly voice is helpful.
My 3 month anniversary is tomorrow and you’ve lost 3 times more weight! Men bite — just not fair :) I would be at my goal with your weightloss! Too funny — I’m still very happy I did it and pleased with my progress.
Where did you find a support group? I saw that the OH Forums have a coffee in Maple Grove – but did you find a real group? Is it helpful? I am feeling sort of lost — I have a lot of support, but only a few people who have actually had surgery and really understand. Feel free to email me instead of replying here if you prefer.
The group I go to is through the psychologist I did all my pre-op stuff with. Small group.. 8 or so people I think.
We meet twice a month… and… I suppose it helps. Honestly not sure. Check with your hospital too… I know there are a number of groups through United where I had mine… but they’re more general get-together kind of things I think.
Yikes! Complications at 3 years post op. I had no idea. Well I hope that isnt me. I am sorry for all those that have trouble. I do think that I am better off now. I am 4 months out and down 107 lbs and 30 from goal weight. I take my vitamins and exercise every day. I honestly did think I was out of the woods. I suppose that this is one more thing to file away. Great story Rob. I hope that lady is ok.
She is improving, I should call her tomorrow actually.
I dunno, I know there are the problems, but I think the problems are the exception, not the rule.
Bottom line is, this is a HUGE deal, no matter how you cut it. You need to do your homework and decide for yourself if the potential risks are worth the probable benefits.