Before I was a former-fat dude I wore size 48 jeans, a XXX in things like my paintball BDUs, and typically a 4X shirt. Some shirts I could maybe get by with a 3X, we all ran in to how sizes are not consistent.
My usual wardrobe was jeans and Carhart shirts. I also started wearing these newer “quik dry” style shirts. They were great, cause as a big guy, I sweated a lot. And they didn’t show the sweat stains as easy and they did dry out quickly. I had two black shirts, one a 3X and one a 4X that I wore nearly every day for a couple years… At first the 4X was a little too big, but then it got to be to the point where the 3X was a lil too snug. So that one was mostly worn as a sort of undershirt.
I know that they make very good clothes for “big guys”. Casual Male XL is a great store… but that looking good came at a cost. A simple button up shirt that I could find at say.. Penny’s or Kohls now for under $20 would have been over $40 at Casual Male. So… I stuck mostly with what I could find in the “Big Men’s” sections at Penny’s or what I could get at Wal-Mart. Target… shoot, I hadn’t bought clothes there since the mid-90s I bet. I would hit Casual Male once in awhile… usually to hit the clearance racks hoping to find something nice that I could afford.
And back then, loose was good. Baggy was my friend. I was fat. I know that. But if my clothes were loose, a part of me didn’t feel quite so fat. And dressing up? forget it. Like I said, I know they make some very nice clothes for big guys, but I was never comfortable in slacks and a tie. I had about a 19-20inch neck, so maybe it was the choking feeling? I don’t know. More than likely it was the fact when you dress up you have to tuck your shirt in… and for me, the majority of my weight was right there, doing laps over my belt.
I just never felt comfortable. I think as long as I was confortable, I could be in denial of just how fat I was. I didn’t have to face the truth.
Well, I’ve faced the truth. That’s why I had WLS. And now that I have lost over 160 pounds I even wore a suit to a friend’s wedding a couple weeks ago, and… I felt comfortable. I felt… dare I say… good…?
I received a lot of compliments, which is still an odd thing, something I’m not entirely comfortable with. But through the entire evening, I never once felt uncomfortable in the suit.
And now, I find a curious transformation taking place. Where baggy was once my friend, I’m now finding it… uncomfortable.
I recently took all my “fat clothes” to Good Will. about six, 30-gallon sized bags of clothes. They were different sizes… as I had grown out of the 40 and 42 jeans I kept them, hoping I would be able to fit in to them again “some day”. Well that some day came and went and now the stuff that was too small is gone cause they were way too big. And while I was shoping clearance racks and such all summer, I’ve still spent a LOT on clothes this year. Then to top it off, most of what I bought even just in June is now too big.
An XXL shirt is just too big now, too baggy. 150 pounds ago, I would have loved the extra room to move in. Now I feel like I’m drowning. Even some of the XL shirts I bought this summer.. and I don’t think I could describe how I felt when I got to that point… we now they’re starting to feel too big.
It’s weird.
I went shopping last night. I had three pairs of pants in my closet. A pair of 38 jeans, some OD BDU’s that are XL and some khaki BDU’s that are Larges. Even the Khaki ones are getting too big. The XL and the 38s… I can wear them, but I’m very aware in the back of my mind how baggy they are on me. It’s like before, tight clothes would make me feel fat, now that they’re too baggy… It’s not that they make me feel fat, but remind me of being fat.
I’ll never be, well, fashionable. But I’m trying to dress… better? And for work, I’m tring to dress better… a bit more… professional? I’m not minding button down shirts now that my neck is over 3 inches smaller than it was (don’t feel choked). I don’t mind tucking in my shirt, though that’s something I’m still working on.
Though the suit was a major splurge on my part, I’m still shopping clearance racks for a bit longer. My losing has slowed, and I’m actually at a weight I think I could live with, but things are still changing too. Throwing away clothes is a double edged sword. I like the fact that they’re too big, but… that’s money out the window.
To make a long ramble just a bit longer – yet another reminder of how WLS treats your physical aspect. Mentally, well, dealing with something as mundane as shopping for clothes changes. Your attitude about clothes will likely change. And it likely won’t happen over night, and it likely won’t be easy. But like so many other things that have been changing lately, in the end, it’s a good thing.
Oh, and for the record, I’m down to wearing large shirts, size 32 jeans… and even medium in some things like shorts.
Photo Note: That’s Jeremy on stage at the MN Ren Fest with the Sisters of the Sahara belly dancers, being asked the question in the title…
I can certaintly relate to this posting!!! Loose used to make me look thinner, now form fitting is the way to go. Used to buy a lot of clothes, now have learned not to because they don’t last long enough & I give them away. And for some unknown reason I don’t feel the emontional need to constantly have new clothes, I gave away mountains of fat clothes. Some that I saved I never wore because they went from too small to too huge before I thought to try them on. Dang. At my hospital we “trade in” our large sizes among ourselves. The smaller I get the less I have to trade in.
Love my WLS! It has changed my life & yes, we do have to work at it but at least now it is working!!