I know, it’s been a while since I last posted. In some ways, nothing is new, nothing has changed. I’m still working multiple jobs, trying to make time to keep up with my studying, not havint the time to exercise… no… not having the motivation to make the time to exercise like I should and overall not getting enough sleep or eating entirely as I should. Unfortunately my weight, while a it higher than I would like seems to be pretty stable as well. I say unfortunately because it makes it harder to get motivated to get fully back on track.

But on the other side of the coin, things have also changed drastically. My grandmother passed away just over a week ago, I think I’m being booked for a speaking engagement for a local WLS event in October, I haven’t been doing the social media thing much lately, which feels both odd and comforting at the same time. I’ve made some great connections when it comes to my business and radio show stuff. I’m also parting ways with an organization I’ve been involved with for nearly two years now… and I wish I could say it is happening on good terms, but…

The whole incident has been shaking me up a lot more than I thought it would. Which is weird, because it is like I can better describe how this situation makes me feel than I can tell you how I really feel about the passing of my grandma. Which in turn only seems to further indicate to me that I need to take the advice I recently shared with someone on Facebook; “get some therapy”.

Connie Stapleton’s new book, THRIVING! Triumph Over Trauma. Real Life Stories of Recovery from Obesity is coming out next week at the WLSFA Meet & Greet. It’s a collection of stories from folks who have tackled their obesity through weight loss surgery. Connie put out a call for submissions last year, and I didn’t really consider submitting anything. Honestly, as it relates to what I thought she was looking for, I wasn’t sure I had much of a story to tell. As her deadline approached, I guess she felt she needed more stuff, and from guys in particular so she reached out to me and asked if I could come up with something for the book.

We had corresponded a bit via email, but I finally met her face to face in Vegas last year and she has been a great supporter since. I saw her again when I was Portland last year, she joined me on my radio show once, and we’ve kept in contact via email and such. So when she said she needed some help, I had to try. I thought I didn’t have much to say, but once I got going… I ended up sending her a document that was just over 5 pages long. I don’t know how much, or what parts of it made it in to the book. I guess I’ll find out next week. While I would prefer to just get an ebook copy if it’s available, I’ll likely get a printed copy to have Connie sign for me.

Anyways, to tie this back to where I sort of started. I ended up writing a fair amount on the emotional side of things. I don’t recall off the top of my head if I’ve said this “out loud” here or anything, but … well, I guess in a number of ways I feel emotionally stunted. Ok, it sounds weird using the term “feel” when describing how I have a lack of feeling…? And I’m not saying there’s anything unique about me here. It’s just that the things that happened through my life to make me who I am, they just didn’t seem to foster the best of environments for emotional growth.

I’m not blaming anyone… not my mom or dad or anything. I know both of them had things that influenced them as they grew up, etc. It is just one of those things that… is what is.

Just as I sought the help of the surgery in order to get my weight to a healthy level, maybe it’s time to seek some professional help my emotional health as well. Only problem is, I don’t have insurance and I am trying to figure out how I’m going to afford the rent increase hitting me in July, let alone an additional expense such as that. More motivation to get my business rocking I guess.

So yea, that’s what I’ve been up to. With the Meet & Greet coming up next week, I’m looking forward to seeing a lot of friends, old and new, maybe spend some quality time with my Mom who is coming with. I’ll be leading a panel discussion – the Mighty Men’s Metabolic Panel – posing some questions to them about live as a guy who has had WLS as well as a couple participants who are the spouses of women who have had WLS. Be sure to come see us!

Ok, not “here”, here. Cause I’m not hiring. I’m talking about the policy of the Citizens Medical Center in Victoria, Texas. I’ll skip the usual jokes about everything being bigger in Texas and get to the point. About a year ago, this medical center instituted a hiring policy that discriminates against anyone with a BMI over 35, because they feel they have a “healthy image” to uphold.

Yea. In other words, if you’re 5’10″ and over 245 pounds… you’re not healthy. Forget the fact that BMI charts are a terrible gauge of health, I mean under this circumstance “The Rock” wouldn’t be able to get a job with this hospital. Not that he’s looking, but I think you get my point. Anyone with a decent amount of muscle mass throws the whole BMI scale off. No, let’s take a look at some of the actual language in this policy…

… an employee’s physique “should fit with a representational image or specific mental projection of the job of a healthcare professional,” including an appearance “free from distraction” for hospital patients.

I’m quoting this from an online article in the Texas Tribune because a quick search of the hospital website couldn’t find their policy on this on their career center page or anywhere else. Ironically enough, they do have a non-discrimination policy posted on their website for their patients.

Maybe even more disturbing is the explanation given by the hospital chief executive, David Brown.

“The majority of our patients are over 65, and they have expectations that cannot be ignored in terms of personal appearance, we have the ability as an employer to characterize our process and to have a policy that says what’s best for our business and for our patients.”

When I first found out about this yesterday, I shot a quick email over to Joe Nadglosky, CEO with the Obesity Action Coalition, figuring I would give him a heads up. I should have known they were already on top of it. Here’s his response back this morning…

Thanks Rob.  OAC sent a formal request about two weeks ago for the policy to be reversed with no response to date.  The OAC Board is meeting tonight to discuss further action.  What’s even more disappointing is there is a major bariatric surgery program at this hospital!!!

Look for more from OAC soon.

To make things even worse, that bariatric center Joe mentions is a Center of Excellence. So, I figure that means they may do one of their calls to action on this… but if you want to get a jump on it, here’s some ways to contact the hospital;

Find them on Facebook

Tweet them @citizensmedical

eMail them at info@citizensmedicalcenter.org

From other reading, it seems there is really no way this would hold up to a legal challenge, but maybe we can get them to reverse this policy decision without having to go that route.

So I’m in the shower… (no, this isn’t gonna be THAT kind of a post) and my thoughts wander to some stuff I want to post about today, cause it’s been waaaaay too long. And there’s just something relaxing about a nice hot shower that lets my mind wander rather nicely.

I went out for a walk/run this morning, going through the Couch to 5K stuff again, trying to get my running game back on… so my phone was still playing music as I was showering. I was formulating thoughts in my head on what I wanted to write about… I need to include some thoughts on the bit of weight that’s creeping up on me. My size 33 shorts are still fitting, but they are a bit snug when I put them on right out of the dryer.

Most people who see me (unless you’re right there as I step out of the shower I suppose… but like I said, it wasn’t gonna be THAT kind of a post) wouldn’t notice the difference. I do, and I’m determined to do something about it. Thus, getting up at 5am the other morning to go for a walk/run, going for a bike ride after work Friday, and another walk/run this morning.

Anyways, as I turn off the water and grab for my towel, one song ends, and another begins.

Dido, Live at Brixton Academy.

I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again
I just want to feel deep in my own world
but I’m so lonely I don’t even want to be with myself anymore

Wow.

Isn’t it ironic?

Wait, wrong artist.

See… besides being Sunday… besides being Easter… today is the 3-year anniversary of my bariatric surgery.

Now, I’m not trying to say this is exactly how I’m feeling. I mean, I feel safe. And overall, I’m happy. In many ways I’m happier than I have been in … I couldn’t tell you how long. I’m healthier than I’ve ever been. I realize it’s not Thanksgiving, and while I’m not particularily religous I know I have a lot to be thankful/grateful for in my life right now.

So yes. I’m “happy”. But I think it’s more about being happy (mostly) where I am at, and happy (mostly) with where I am going. But overall, am I just plain happy? I’m not sure.

Maybe it’s because I’m not feeling deep in my own world… Working two jobs that don’t bring in enough money to pay my bills, trying to do other side things to bring money in while also developing my health coaching business and make time for exercise and even ocassionally getting out to do something fun like a bike ride with a friend or maybe some paintball. Am I in too deep? Sorry, different artist again.

And maybe it’s the feeling lonely. It’s been nearly a year since I was in my last relationship. It’s not that I wouldn’t like to be in another. But… I don’t know. With everything I have going on, with everything I need to do to get to the next place I need to be (as in a stable career that allows me to pay my bills, etc), it seems like adding a relationship in to that right now isn’t… well, let’s put it this way. I’m already feeling stretched to my limit, tring to add more will mean something will suffer. And that wouldn’t be fair to anyone I were to possibly get involved with and/or to myself in regards to my career path, etc.

I don’t have any magic answer here. It’s just .. it just is right now. I’m sure part of why I’m eting more than I need to be lately, eating things I don’t need to be lately, is in part due to the the lonliness. Well, I’ve typically called it “boredom eating”. But I think it’s deeper than that. Knowing that, and fixing it are two different things. But it is a start I suppose. Knowing is half the battle right? I’m aware. I’m not just ignoring it.

I know it will get better.

I know I will be happy again.

It just takes time.

I first met Sarah online a couple years ago through her YouTube videos… and in person in 2010 at the first Vegas Meet & Greet. She was one of the main organizers along with Andrea. And she’s a sweetheart.(well, they both are!) I got to see her again, briefly, in Vegas last year. And she was even nice enough to give me a ride from my hotel to a meeting I was having just before leaving… saving me a HUGE cab fare.

As one of the organizers of the first M&G, Sarah was… in a round about way… instrumental in the formation of the WLSFA. As such, Sarah was awarded the inaugural grant for reconstructive surgery. She had her surgery with Dr. Katzen last September and at the time, they documented the whole thing because they were working on a pilot for a possible TV show… and that pilot is about to air.

The Real Skinny is going to air Monday, March 12th at 10PM EDT on TLC, and Sarah’s story is part of the pilot episode. If you have TLC, check it out… then let me know how it was, cause.. I don’t have cable. Anyways, here’s a bit of a preview.

For the last year or so, I’ve worked a less than ideal job. It uses none of my skill-set, take no mental effort on my part, makes it way too easy for me to sit on my arse way too much, and even though I’d been working six days a week, putting in 54 hours each week, it doesn’t cover my expenses. I took on a second job to pay for the classes I’m taking and have always had to find ways to make another couple hundred bucks a month in order to keep my head above water.

But on the flip-side, it’s been the ideal job for me… at this time. Because I sit in front of a computer most of the day, waiting for something that needs my attention, I am able to use that time to do other things. Like study, blog, and try to build my nutritional coaching business. They’re also very flexible when I need/want to take off for a couple hours for a meeting or a seminar or something. So yea, not the ideal job overall, but I’ve made it work for where I’m at right now.

As I’ve been trying to focus more and more on building my business, I’ve done so with the idea that by late-spring/early-summer I would be able to drop a couple days here to have more time dedicated to that. Well, those plans just got fast-tracked on me. Thursday I found out I am no longer working 6-days/54-hours a week. Instead I’m working 5-days/27.5 hours. Half of what I was.

So… my hours for March should cover my rent, and maybe my electric/gas bill.

I’m not here to dwell on that… I’ve got other things in the works that I hopefully can ramp up. It will be tight, but … well, I’ll make it work.

Problem is, this weekend, I ate crap. A lot of it. Well, a lot more than usual anyways. See, I worked 7am-10pm every day last week, Saturday I did the radio show followed by working 11-10 – with a couple hour break in there to go home and let the plumber in to install a new water meter.

There were the brownies on Saturday that .. we’re very good… but I could have gotten by with less than half of what I ate. Then yesterday was my last Sunday shift here. I didn’t pack a lunch… my kitchen is a disaster area right now (see above for reason why). So I walked to the grocery store on the next block and picked up a couple bean burrito, salsa, and… a bag of chips and a container of sour cream.

Over the course of about the next six hours I managed to put away both the burritos and nearly half the bag of chips with a goodly portion of the sour cream and salsa.

sigh.

I pretty much figured I would end up polishing off the rest of the chips today.

Well, I can’t remember where I first heard or read this, and it may not of even been about food, but there’s a quote I like to tell others that are struggling that is along the lines of…

“No matter how badly you feel you’ve screwed up, you’re just one meal away from being back on track.”

I got to work this morning… looked at that half-full bag of chips sitting here, grabbed it with both hands and squeezed. Gave my fingers about a 10-second work-out, turning those delicious tasting corn tortillas to crumbs. The bag went in the trash, followed shortly by the sour cream. The salsa stays, I can use that in a “healthy” way.

The point is, it was my turn to walk the talk… I was just that one step away from being back on track.

Yesterday was Tuesday. For some people it was also Valentines day.

It’s not like I am a cynic or anything, but I will say I’m glad I wasn’t faced with any sort of overt celebration of anything during the day yesterday. I worked both my main jobs yesterday, so the day ended up going by rather quickly, and uneventfully. Overall I’m pretty ambivalent about the whole Valentines day thing.

The other day, on Google+, one friend posted an item that I spotted when another shared it… I’m copying it here for you to check out.

It’s easy to forget. You’re at a restaurant with your friends and they’ve brought their wife, their husband, their boyfriends and girlfriends. They’re laughing and talking and drinking–maybe their hands touch. They smile at each other and they seem so happy.

And you try to be happy too–but you feel sometimes that you are all alone. Maybe you wonder why you can’t find someone like they have, maybe you did have something like that and through time and human mistakes (theirs or yours) you lost it. Maybe you’ve already convinced yourself you aren’t worth it. No one will love you like that.

So the flowers never arrive. The cards are passed over your head. The chocolates are only for you in front of the T.V. with your favorite movie or your favorite game. Or you’re just going to sit here and drink and pretend that you aren’t thinking about getting up to punch that one guy who keeps singing that stupid love song every half hour during karaoke night.

It gets heavy. You think that you’ll always be alone. You think that it’s your fault. You think that you don’t deserve it.

You do. Every single person–even if it’s just a little while–deserves to know they are loved.

There’s someone out there waiting for you. It might take a bit, but don’t give up.

And if you’re lonesome while you are waiting, know that I love you. It’s not the love you want, but maybe it’s the little love you need to get you through until tomorrow.

So don’t forget–because it’s easy to do–someone, somewhere, loves you.

I posted a response, the first line of which read “ have you been reading my diary?”

It was a joke. Mostly. I don’t have a diary. I have this blog, which is actually read by a couple people here and there. I added a few other thoughts in that comment on G+, and as the thoughts simmered with me over the course of the day I decided I should post about it here. Some of these things I touched on during my talk in Portland last year, some of them I may have eluded to here in the past, but maybe this post will wrap them up all together with a nice bow. Or not.

You see, year ago, back when I was still very much a “fat dude”, I had resigned myself to being alone. I had been in a couple relationships through my 20s. and by few I mean .. a few… as in two, maybe three? I maybe dated one or two others, but there was nothing of much significance. None of them lasted very long really. Even back in High School. I had a girl friend for a brief period in 10th grade, and another briefly in 12th. In my early 30′s there was another couple of brief attempts at relationships that didn’t go anywhere.

See, for the most part I kept getting into these relationships for the wrong reasons. I was picking these women not so much because of my feelings for them, but rather based on feelings I thought they might have for me. I’m not saying there wasn’t attraction on my part, at least on a physical level. But beyond that, they didn’t last because … well for a variety of reasons. But as most folks that have struggled with weight issues can tell you, you often find yourself in a relationship with someone not because of your feelings for them, but because of  the idea that they have feelings for you. And you end up telling yourself, probably on a subconscious level, that it’s good enough, because deep down you are afraid. Afraid of being alone. Afraid of looking at your own true feelings. Whatever, but you get so wrapped up in the prospect that someone might actually like you that you “settle”. You accept it as good enough, because to ask for  more, to find someone that likes you that you also like… well, that’s just not gonna happen. So you take what you can get.

I know that’s what I did. It was safer that way. After years of being in the background, never being the guy that turns the girls heads when you walk in a room, after the rejections, the jokes, the looks… you settle.

It got to the point where I actually had resigned myself, I made the conscious decision that was going to grow old alone.

I would joke about it of course, in that self-deprecating manner so many of us become adept at. I would say I was going to be that old guy, sitting on the front steps watering the grass with the hose. I’d be wearing my Bermuda shorts with black socks and sandals. And I would threaten to spray any kids that got too close to my lawn. That was joke part, see, cause I never wear sandals, let alone with black socks.

Yea, the idea of that actually coming true pretty much sucked. But I believed that’s how it would be.

Then I met “her”. To this day, I don’t know what it was about her that just… well, it sounds cliche… but she turned my world upside down. Here I am, my mid-30s and this was the first woman in my life that I actually pursued. And despite being near my heaviest weight at the time of around 340, I actually started “wearing her down”. Sort of. We developed a strong friendship right away, and before much longer we were in to a relationship, sort-of, but it still wasn’t normal.

We had met through a group activity I was involved in at the time and so we ended up with pretty much the same social circles. But things were very different betwen us when we were with friends versus when we were alone. I found ways to rationalize it to myself, because I … I was happy. Here was someone I liked that seemed to like me as well. She was the first women I could say I loved. To this day, those times together were some of the best I’ve ever had. I should have known it wouldn’t last.

The fact that she ended up with a guy that was less than half my size, well – let’s just say that it didn’t do my self-esteem any favors.

I was in a tail-spin. I went through a period of depression where I lost nearly 50 pounds in a matter of months. Not a weight-loss method I would recommend by the way. As I recovered from that, the weight came back with a vengeance and I was soon over 350… then 360… and before long my heaviest ever, somewhere over 380.

A few years after that, I fell back in to the habit of getting in to a relationship based more on how I thought the other person felt, not because of what my own feelings really were. And of course that didn’t last. It wasn’t much longer after that I made the decision to have bariatric surgery.

By about 6 months after surgery I had lost well over 100 pounds and was feeling pretty good so I started trying some online dating. Met a few very nice women. Was briefly involved with one woman who was recently divorced. She was very accepting of my having had surgery and we had some good times together, but after a couple months we both came to the conclusion that neither of was “ready”. It was too soon after her divorce and too soon after my surgery.

It was nearly 8 months later before I would try again, and after a number of near misses, I met someone that I clicked with. We had a whirlwind of a relationship that lasted over six months when …  well… in her words, it was something to the effect of how I wasn’t making her feel wanted. I think I knew this, but after thinking about it more I realized it’s not because I didn’t want her, but more because I’m “broken”.

I’m not saying that to be self-deprecating or anything. I mean it in all sincerity. I don’t know how to be in a relationship. Yes, there are certain things about relationships that are instinctual I suppose. But there are a number of things about being in a relationship that have to be learned. And maybe that’s what the whole dating ritual is about… from high school on up. It’s practice. It’s about doing something over and over in order to learn how to do it better. It’s gaining experience. And despite the relationships I was in, I did have, I don’t have that experience because they were all the wrong sorts of relationships. They were relationships I was in for the wrong reasons, they were relationships I wasn’t ever really fully a part of.

Part of what I a good at (I think) is being a friend. Going back over the decades, when it came to women, I was “the nice guy”, the guy that hangs out with you at the bars, hearing you talk about the hot guys on the other side of the dance floor. The guy sitting there realizing that there likely isn’t anyone in that group of women on the other side of the dance floor looking over and talking to her friends that way about you.

Don’t get me wrong here, I am blessed to have the friendships I do. I have friends I love dearly, that I know love me. Friends I know I can turn to for help just as much as they know they can turn to me. No, it’s not the same. Friends are fine when your feeling alone, but loneliness is a whole ‘nother story.

There’s the saying “it’s better to have loved and lost…”, sometimes I’m not so sure. Sometimes I lean more towards “ignorance is bliss”, but I can’t change the past.

So instead, well right now I’m keeping myself occupied. Occupied working too many jobs for too little money as I try to build a new career for myself. I continue to take steps towards an overall better life, do things to try and improve myself on various levels. And eventually, if I’m lucky, that’s going to include a relationship with someone.

In the mean time, I hope you had a nice Tuesday.

It’s Friday again.. time for another new lunge. I first have to admit that I didn’t do so great this week. I got my 60 lunges each day on Sunday and Monday, but since Tuesday I’ve been fighting a head cold. It’s been a back and forth battle between a sore throat and sore sinuses. Either way, I seem to be on the losing end. I am feeling a bit better today and will try to get some lunges in yet today and tomorrow… but not sure if I’ll hit 300 for the week. Maybe I’ll break it up in to two smaller sessions each day? The ones I did do though, yea, they were working very different muscles than the last couple weeks.

Anyways, starting Sunday it’s a new week, and a new lunge… one called the Curtsy Lunge. Based on the name, I’m not sure that I, as a dude, want to be doing these in public. Check out the video below to see what they’re all about.

And of course I have to give a shout out to Alysa over at Inspired RD for inspiring the whole lunge club thing in the first place.

First off, I feel the need to apologize for the picture of today’s chicken dish. See, one of my goals is to find some ways to “like” avocado. They’re chock full of healthy fats and other good nutrition type stuff… but the green color they lend to something like this dish… well I just couldn’t figure out a very appealing way to photograph it. But despite how it looks, I gotta say it was pretty tasty.

I suppose I could have called this guacamole chicken salad too, as the base of this is basically a guacamole variation. I took an avocado, mashed it with about 1/4 cup of plain yogurt, added some lime juice, little salt, cilantro but also added some celery seed and cayenne pepper. I mixed it all with some finely chopped celery, radish, green onion, shredded carrot and the last 3 or so ounces of chicken I had left (diced up).

I suppose I could have done a wrap with this. Originally I was thinking in a pita.. but the last half of a pita I had in the fridge had been there longer than I thought and was rather stale. So, it was time to just grab a fork and enjoy it as is. I didn’t actually eat it with the kale as pictured, I plated it like that simply for the photo then put it in a dish to take to work for lunch.

The avocado does lend a nice creaminess. I hear a lot of people talking about using it instead of mayo to spread on bread for sandwiches. I don’t really use much in the way of mayo these days anyways. And when I typically make a “salad” type sandwich I tend to use yogurt. I have a partial jar of mayo still in the fridge that I used to do a mix of yogurt and mayo, but I don’t really notice a difference anymore so the jar tends to stay where it is, way at the back of the fridge. Not that I have anything against it, I’m just at the point where it’s not the first thing I think of when I’m preparing something like this.

A lot of people talk about putting slices of avocado on a sandwich or chunks in a salad… I think it will take me a while to get to that point. It’s a texture thing. I’m not crazy about tomato slices on my sandwiches or chunks in my salads for much the same reason.

So there you have it, six different ways to use up a batch of chicken. It could be a couple pounds of breasts as I did here or maybe you grab a rotisserie chicken form the deli… the point is you don’t have to get stuck in a rut if you just use a touch of creativity. And I don’t think any of the things I threw out here are “gourmet” or anything that any of you couldn’t pull off yourselves. Even some of the additional things I made from scratch like the hummus have store-bought alternatives you could easily sub in there.

Let me know if you tried any of the things I threw out here, or maybe you made your own variation, or maybe you had an idea for another meal you could do along these lines that’s a favorite of yours! And… if you liked this whole series of stuff, let me know that too and maybe I can tackle doing similar posts using other items in the future.

I started thinking of soup when I first started this whole “six ways” thing. I did a similar “single-serve” soup a couple weeks back, using broccoli slaw. This time I wanted to have a bit of noodle action – I keep a bit of multi-color rotini on hand just for times like this. I figured I would throw in some veges, let it all simmer and I’d be good to go.

I started with what in the cooking world is known as a mirepoix – a mix of carrot, celery and onion. After starting about 2 cups of the chicken broth simmering, I lightly sauteed the onion, then celery and shredded carrot. After tossing the diced up chicken and 1/2 cup of the noodles in to the broth I had an idea… I have a bunch of roasted buttercup squash that I cooked up over the weekend so I cook about a cup of it and pureed it with some of the chicken broth, then put it along with the other veges back in to the pot with the chicken.

Once it was almost heated up I seasoned it with a bit of salt, garlic powder and fresh ground pepper… once in the bowl I garnished with a bit of green onion.

I’m sure I probably read about doing something this somewhere before, pureeing the squash to make a creamy soup without all the cream and such – this wasn’t an original idea, but it was tasty.

I’m sure I’ll do something like this again and I’ll try to formalize a recipe for it to share, but in the mean time… do what I did and just play with it a bit.

It didn’t feel right calling this a chicken pot pie when I cooked mine in a pan. A sauce pan for part of it and a cast-iron skillet for the baking part. So yea. But whatever you want to call it, this turned out rather well I think.

Now, I’ve never been a fan of “pot pies”. I’m really just not a huge fan of pastry type crusts in general. So I have no idea where the urge to make this dish came from. But what I did know is that it wouldn’t be a traditional type. I’ve seen similar dishes where instead of a top crust, you use drop-biscuits or dumplings of some sort. But alas, I’m not a huge biscuit fan either.. and I’ve never made dumplings (which aren’t they just “boiled” biscuits anyways?) So what to do?

Well, I asked for ideas on Twitter… and someone suggested corn bread (which I do love), or the “cheesy pizza crust” I was talking about a couple weeks back. Ding! I think we have something there. It’s such an easy recipe too… 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, 1 egg, and a 3oz block of cream cheese. And I knew I had all the stuff on hand. So we had a topping. But then what about the filling?

I had the chicken, the reason for this whole idea in the first place. I always have a few certain vegetables on hand… carrots, frozen peas, onion. That would work. When getting out the carrot I found some sweet potato left over from another meal. I had some celery too but option to skip that for this dish. Another thing I keep on hand is a can or two of evaporated milk. I use this in place of cream in making sauces to get a bit more depth than just milk (especially since my milk is soy milk), without as much of the fat. Oh! There’s also a can of mushrooms. Yea, I know… they’re slimly lil suckers, I would never use them on a burger or to top a steak, but I keep a couple small cans on hand just for occasions like this where they go in to something and offer just a bit of that mushroomy flavor.

Like I said, I’ve never made this sort of dish before, but I know that it’s basically the chicken and veges in a thick cream sauce. So I started out by basing this on my stroganoff recipe, in particular using a roux as the thickener. I did a video of this for BTV about a year ago. I chopped up some onion and lightly cooked it before adding the butter and flour. I used a small can of evaporated milk and about 1/2 cup of the chicken broth I had from cooking up the chicken. The veges I added were a medium carrot and some sweet potato about the same size as the carrot that were shredded and about a cup of frozen peas. I shredded the carrot and potato instead of dicing because I figured they would cook faster that way. In hindsight, I had some roasted squash and beets in the fridge that I forgot about and would have loved to add some of those in there.

I had two of the chicken breasts left, both just over 7 ounces, so I chopped one of them up, leaving me with just enough chicken left for my last two meals in this experiment. Then after I got the veges in, it was still a bit thinner than I wanted, especially since I wasn’t going to use a bottom crust, so I mixed in 3 tablespoons of ground flaxseed. So this not only added some fiber and some omega 3s, the flaxseed sucks up moisture and helped thicken the whole thing up a bit more. I seasoned mine with liberal amounts of garlic powder and fresh ground black pepper and a few pinches of kosher salt.

I poured this in to my 9inch cast iron skillet and dropped spoonfuls of the “pizza crust” batter on top. I didn’t do the greatest job when it comes to even distribution, but you get the idea. The whole thing went in to a 350 degree oven for about 30 minutes, till the topping was lightly browned. Scroll back up to the top here to see what it looked like coming out of the oven. When I went to plate it, it held together very nicely. I don’t know if it was because of or in spite of the addition of the flax… but no matter the reason, it worked great.

It plated up wonderfully, I didn’t need a soup bowl to serve it in. The cheesy topping added a nice touch of sweetness overall… and it was very filling. I was figuring I’d get two servings out of this, but I think for a post-op, you’ll easily get three or four servings. I recently wrote a piece for my nutrition blog about being flexible in the kitchen, and this is a great example of that I think. It would be a great way to use some some left over vegetables. You could use various kinds of meats in here… season it to your own tastes, savory or spicy. And there’s many different ways you could top this, biscuits, corn bread, potato dumplings, etc.

So yea… it was a success. I got a dinner a lunch and an additional side dish out of this for me…. and I could see doing similar versions of this in the future. Also, you could easily double this and bake it in a larger pan.