So yea, you may have noticed a distinct lack of postings by me around here lately. I could go on about how sorry I am, to you, my faithful readers… but ya know… well, let’s put it this way. I do miss writing, but at the same time I’ve just plain been enjoying life lately.

But like I said, I miss writing. I’ve been doing some videos for BTV, but nothing for YouTube and I sort of miss that as well. So, I’m going to make an effort to start writing and maybe even doing some videos again.

It’s not that I don’t have ideas for what I’d like to write, and it’s not like there isn’t more to talk about… it’s just a matter of doing it, right? And maybe the reason I haven’t is part of the whole story in and of itself.

I’m approaching 16 months post-op, and I’m within 10 pounds of my lowest maintained weight. I guess I consider a weight I stayed at within a couple pounds for at least three months as a “maintained” weight. I was in the low 190′s from about January through May or so, a 4+ month period. Then I bumped up, and have been at about 200, plus or minus a few pounds since then. I think most of that has been muscle, as my clothes still feel like they fit the same.

I’ve been biking. Quite a bit. I hit the 500 mile mark for the year last week, and will break 550 next time I’m on the bike… hopefully on Thursday. I discovered that at about 12-14mph pace, I burn about 750-800 calories an hour. My typical ride is anywhere from 90-120 minutes. That’s 1000-1500 calories burned. Wow.

I still make it to the gym here and there, but I would rather be out on my bike than in a gym.

I’ve been eating a lot of crap. Especially back in June and part of July. I’ve gotten better the last few weeks, but .. yea.. I’m still eating stuff I really don’t need… I shouldn’t want. Some examples.. donuts, candy, more donuts, chips with dip, cookies, cookie dough. And for awhile there I was also just eating a lot. Maybe it’s cause of the bike riding. I mean, there’s days where I go biking 30+ miles and I guess I’m burning nearly twice as many calories as I typically eat in a day (I think I average 12-1500 a day right now). So yea, that makes sense I guess.

Problem is, despite the crap I’ve been eating… I’ve had barely any problems. Yea, I’m up a few pounds… but that’s to be expected based on where I am anyways, and like I said, I think it’s mostly muscle.

But on the other hand, I’ve still done pretty good on avoiding some things. Ice cream… Well, I had one spoonful at my niece/nephew’s birthday Sunday… tho I did have cake – (win some, lose some?) but cake is something that you can’t just grab at the store and end up binging on, where as it’s very easy to grab a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and go nuts. So yea… I mean, I was given a plate with a piece of cake and a scoop of ice cream on it… at the cake … but was able to not eat the ice cream (plopped it on my sister’s plate instead). All I had of it was the melted stuff on the plate that I sopped up with the cake.

And Ok, yea, I bought a Snickers on Saturday. But… I cut that Snicker’s in to quarters. Ate one piece that day and put the rest in the freezer. Ate another piece last night. Here it is 3-4 days later and I still have half that Snickers sitting in the freezer. And we’re talking regular size bar, not even a king size.

I know I can make good decisions.

I just need to make more of them.

Correction. I need to continue to make more good decisions than I do bad ones.

I think I’ll leave it at that for now. I do have more to say… lots probably. I had my 25 year HS reunion this last weekend, for example. Let’s see if I can get my writing mojo back and share some thoughts on that with you some time before the holidays hit.

Originally posted October 14, 2008

I started talking about some of the cons I’ve been reading about while looking in to Weight Loss Surgery (WLS). Yesterday I touched a bit on some of the basic food aspects as well as the general surgery stuff, this next one that I’ve found some info on goes a bit deeper, the addiction.

I don’t always eat because I’m hungry. I know that’s a factor in things overall, maybe even more of one that I realize. Does it mean I’m addicted to food? I dunno. But there’s a few sites out there that I’ve found that talk about the problems of addiction when it comes to WLS, and how after the surgery many folks trade their addiction to food for another addiction. The most common one seems to be alcohol, another I see mentioned is gambling.

Alcohol… an addiction I’m fairly familiar with.

My dad’s an alcoholic, one that has been dry for 30+ years. I have no real memories of my dad drinking. Don’t know that I ever saw him drunk. But yea, I’ve lived with the results of it since it led to the split of my parents when I was about two. I know that to this day it is a part of who he is, and to some extent who I am. Did that stop me from drinking? No. Has it stopped me from drinking too much on occassion? No. Do I think I have an alcohol problem myself? No.

It may mean nothing, but I’ve had to throw beer away that went kinda stale on me in my fridge. There are few beers I “like”. There are a few other drinks that are ok… an ice cold Mikes Hard Lemon or Limeade on a hot summer day are reallllly good. But I could just as easily drink iced tea, coke, regular lemonade (for now anyways). I really don’t think that will become a problem. Yea, I know a lot of the arguments that could be made to say it doesn’t matter… I don’t have to like what I drink to be an alcoholic, I don’t have to get drunk to be an alcoholic… I don’t even have to drink that often… but this is one area that I just ain’t worried about.

Gambling? I dunno, kinda the same thing. I’ve gambled. I like playing cards and such… but I’ve just never gotten in to it. So I’m not going to sweat that either.

So what else is there? If it turns out I have a food addiction, what other vices might I transfer that too after a WLS?

Think Gastric Bypass Surgery is the Quick Fix? Think Again. [psychcentral.com]
Alcohol and Gastric Bypass [themorbidme.com]

Originally posted October 13, 2010

Ok, as I posted yesterday… I’m looking in to bariatric surgery, or as folks around the net seem to refer to it as “weight loss surgery” or WLS. The pros of doing something like this are pretty much self-evident. What about the cons? What about the risks? I haven’t been blowing sunshine up my own skirt on this, I’ve been trying to find out about the downside to doing this as well.

First off, even the minimally invasive procedures are still … well… invasive. It’s still major surgery. There are inherent risks any time you get put under for a surgery. But those, well, there is little you can do to avoid them other than not having the surgery. So I guess I put that stuff in the category of “not gonna sweat it”.

After surgery, this turns into a HUGE life-style changing deal that is going to (if it’s gonna work) change how I eat for the rest of my life. That’s something I’ve been trying to do in little steps any ways, because I recognize that I need to do that to keep from dying before I hit fifty… or if I don’t die, at least be able to walk up a flight of stairs without passing out or falling from a joint giving out. WLS, in that regard is a major kick start.

Maybe the difference between doing this via WLS and not is some of the things that, from what I’ve been reading, become not just things that I “should not have” but rather things that I “can not have”. It’s still early in my learning on this, but a few things that I think are going to end up on that list that I am really going to miss would be Coca-Cola, fruit juice, popcorn at the movies. I’m trying to find out more on a post WLS diet, cause I’m also going to miss cooking I think.

I love to cook, almost as much as I love to eat maybe? I don’t get real exotic, but I enjoy trying new things. I read cook books for entertainment. I hate cooking for just myself. Cooking for two is bad enough, there are tons of cookbooks out there on it. Cooking for one is probably worse… tho maybe I didn’t see much difference cause lots of times I was probably eating enough for two any ways. But the point is, going through the effort of cooking a single burger, or a single chicken breast and a side dish and other stuff – that was enough of a pain when they were “regular” portions. What about when the majority of a meal consists of a single egg?

Will that make things easier? or harder? Will the impulse to not want to have to mess up the kitchen for something so minor increase the odds of just hitting a fast food place on the way home from work? Granted, post WLS I’d likely not be able to handle much more than just the patty from a dollar-menu burger rather than a couple of them with fries and a pop, but still… that can’t be a good thing, it’s just on a smaller scale. In some ways, I am sort of approaching this as a challenge though. I have a freezer, I have a food-saver. Ok, so I cook once a week and I’m good for a month now? I recently started a recipe site that I haven’t touched in a few weeks now, maybe I’ll have to give it a new direction. We’ll see.

Before I started this site, I was writing about my WLS stuff on my personal site. I figured for the benefit of any readers out there that are pre-op or early post-op that I should go back to some of these posts and put them up here… and I think it’ll help me too.

So this first one is from October 12, 2008 – I had just made the decision to really look at WLS as an option.

I had a doctor’s appointment last Thursday. I have them every few months to check my blood pressure and get my prescriptions refilled. But this time, I also went in wanting to discuss something specific with him.

See, thing is.. I am fat. I’ve been overweight for as long as I can remember. I was going to Weight Watchers when I was in grade school, and again when I was high school. I did the no-carb “Mayo Clinic Diet” about 10 years ago… managed to lose about 35-40 pounds before plateauing and deciding I liked potatoes too much.. and missed having toast with my eggs.  Last time I had any luck losing weight was the 30+ pounds I lost during a fit of depression over a broken relationship about five years ago. Not something I want to go through again just to lose weight.

But even through all that, despite the fact I wasn’t in all that great of shape, I was active. I’d go camping and it would be nothing to go on a three.. five.. or more mile hike in the afternoon. I’d be out on the paintball field for hours. Or I could easily walk around Lake Phalen with my friend Chelle.

That’s changed the last couple years. I can’t make it to the paintball field without getting winded. For the first time in my life, going for a walk means back pain (on top of the ever present knee issues I’ve been fighting since a teen).  I’m not sure I could make it 3-5 blocks right now, let alone miles.

So I talked to my doctor today about bariatric surgery. Gastric by-pass to be more specific.

Yea… I know it’s a huge deal. I was telling myself as recently as a year ago that doing something like this is a life-style altering deal. That I should be able to do that on my own, I shouldn’t need surgery to make that change for me. But a year later, I’m weighing more than I ever have at around 370, and sure friends will tell me that I don’t look like I weigh that much… and I have seen and know people that seem to look bigger than I am but say they weigh much less… so I’m not sure whats up ther, but the bottom line is, for the last year or more I have been feeling physically worse overall than I ever have, and I’m on the downhill side of 40. I guess now I’m not so sure.

Have I tried “everything”? No. And I’m not going to make excuses. I’m just feeling like I’m running out of options… and mostly time. So I have an appointment on the 31st to meet with a surgeon to see if I “qualify” for the surgery.  Given family history and such… I’m not sure why I wouldn’t. But… I also have no clue what the final criteria is.

I’ve been reading, and reading and reading material on the net. Lots of personal experience blogs, etc. Based on what I’ve seen I’m not sure how I wouldn’t qualify, unless I fail the psyc eval or something? I dunno.

Originally, I wasn’t going to post this right away. I was going wait until after the 31st and see what happened then. But… well, it’s not like I can hide the fact that I’m fat. And if I qualify there’s going to be some major stuff to deal with before the surgery. I work in a small company, they’re going to know something is going on. I’m going to have to miss a major chunk of work at some point so they’re gonna have to be kept in the loop. My family will know.. friends, most of them will know. I guess on top of that, my “online life” has always been rather open. I don’t see any reason to change that now.

I don’t really have anything to hide, so maybe by starting to document some of this now, I can get feedback, information and more from all over the place, and utimately it will help me figure out if this is what I want to do… if this is going to be something I can do.

image credit: bionicteachings via flicker

If you are on any of the WLS oriented forums out there, one topic you’ll come across fairly frequently is when someone posts that they are looking in to surgery, but they don’t know if they should get RNY or the Band. Sometimes VSG and DS come up, but I don’t know much about those… so I’m going to give you my take on how the two compare.

Remember, I’m no medical doctor or anything, this is just what I’ve learned from reading about other peoples experiences and what I learned in my own pre-op research. This decision is a very personal one, but maybe I can give you some good stuff to think about while making it.

If you are a sweets eater right now, RNY is a good option because of the risk of dumping. HOWEVER, do not count on it. You will need to change your eating habits as well (no matter what). I’m only 11 months out and I don’t dump very easily.

The majority of what I have read/heard out there, either surgery will give you about the same results when you are at about 2 years out ***IF*** you follow your doctors program. With RNY you’ll typically lose much faster for a “brief” period (first 6-9 months) before leveling out to a steady progression, where bandsters take a slow and steady path.

Think of it like the Tortise and the Hare, where the band is the tortise and the RNY the hare. Except in this version they pretty much end up in a tie.

So if the overall end results are the same, here are some key factors to consider when deciding which one to have;

Co-morbidities: (sleep-apnea, hper-tension, diabetes, etc.) RNY will give you faster results, likely decreasing and/or eliminating your co-morbidities much quicker. I walked (slowly, but I walked!) out of the hospital off my blood-pressure meds.. and I’ve been taking meds for nearly 20 years.

Maintenance: Bandsters need to go in for fills, so they have a few more visits with their surgeon over the first year or so. But on the plus side… if something happens, say a pregnancy, you’re going out of the country (where decent bariatric care may not be available), you can get your fill taken out and basically be “normal” for awhile. But typically the majority of your fills are going to happen in the first 2 years, and even RNY types need regular check-ins with their surgeon/nurse during that period.

It’s about 50-50 for bandsters that I  know that have gone back for any sort of fill after 2 years or so. All WLS types should be going in for check-ups annually though.

Mechanical vs Physical: Bandsters have a “foreign” object put in them, They will last a long time, but nobody knows just how long at this point. If you’re under 40, there’s a fair chance it will need replacing at some point in your life time. And there is always a risk of “mechanical” failure… the band can slip (though changes in procedures have greatly reduced this risk), it can leak, etc.

Bypass, you’re re-wiring your insides, and you will become mal-absorbtive. Both RNY and Banders need to take supplements, but RNY types especially so, and usually additional supplements. And while it’s rare, the risk of being too mal-absorbtive is there.

Bypass *is* reversible by the way… but it’s very complicated, and not 100%. The unused portion of the stomach is still there, so things could be un-done to a fair extent. VSG however removes a section of the stomach.. so I would think that it’s pretty much non-reversible at this point.

There are other factors that you may personally, like the scar tissue from previous surgeries or other things that may sway your surgeon towards one procedure or the other, but they (and/or their nurses) are the ones you should sit down with and get the final answers to your questions from.

They can look at your complete medical picture and make a recommendation for you based on that and what you expect to get out of the surgery.

Remember though, ultimately, it is YOUR decision.

As a WLSer, we are given a tool to help us lose weight. Along with that tool our surgeons give us a set of guidelines on how to maximize the effective use of that tool in our lives. If you follow those guidelines, you are all but guaranteed that your surgery will work, and you will not only lose weight but keep it off.

There’s just one problem. We’re human.

For many of us, rules are meant to be broken. We get complacent. We get lazy. We get… Whatever it is, there’s going to come a time where we “break the rules”.

And ya know what? That’s ok.

Well, it’s ok as long as you don’t kid yourself about it and start thinking it’s ok to do so again and again and again.

Every decision you make about following your surgeons guidelines are going to have consequences, consequences YOU have to live with. If you make good decisions, you’ll be rewarded with good things. You lose the weight, you get healthy, you keep the weight off.

If you make bad decisions, you’ll likely lose weight more slowly than you otherwise would have (and likely not as much), you’ll end up with vitamin deficiencies, you’ll dump, you’ll regain the weight you lost…

Every decision you make will have consequences. The key thing to keep in mind, the thing to ask yourself is, are they consequences you can live with?