If you haven’t checked out yesterday’s posting on my writing to the editor over a piece in the Miami NewTimes that I felt was rather bigoted towards the obese… you should do so first. Go ahead, I’ll wait. In The News: The Easy Way Out
Ok, now that you’re back… last night on the Bariatric TV weekly support chat radio program, we decided to tackle this topic.
We had been talking amongst ourselves (Mike, Toni, Lynnda, Diva Taunia and myself) for about half-hour when Mike took another caller in that turned out to be the author, Ily Goyanes herself. She had been listening in for a bit and after hearing we weren’t just ripping her a new one decided to join in the conversation.
I have to give Ily credit for venturing in to the lion’s den, so to speak. That took some guts. She revealed to us that she is a former heroin addict that quit “cold turkey” about eight year ago. She deserve credit for that as well. My father is an alcoholic who will celebrate 37 years of sobriety next week. I know it is still a daily issue for him. I had a step-dad that was a drug dealer and I believe addict. I have a good friend that is a recovering gambler that attends GA meetings weekly and has for years. I’m familiar with addiction and the struggles it presents. So yea, she deserves some praise in that regard.
But I also believe it has tainted her view in regard to those who struggle with their weight that turn to weight loss surgery for help. I can’t help but suspect that her view is that since she was able to kick that addiction without the help of methodone and such, that anyone looking to lose weight should be able to change their habits, eat better, get exercise without seeking the help that WLS provides. That, and what seems to be an outright aversion to surgical procedures that are not, in her words, “medically necessary”.
Now I will be the first to admit, I have had my doubts. How’s the saying go? If I knew then what I know now…? Yes, I have my days where I wonder if I had just tried harder, couldn’t I have lost the weight without having had my gastric-bypass? Granted, it wouldn’t have been as rapid, but c’mon? I eat so much better now than I used to…I get a lot more exercise. Is it wrong to still wonder if I couldn’t have done this without surgery?
No, I suppose there’s nothing wrong with wondering. But I try not to dwell on it. Instead, I try to focus on the fat that I am so much healthier than I’ve .. well.. nearly ever been. And I am this way because of my choice to have weight loss surgery. And while I am sure I will continue to have occasional doubts for a long time to come… I also know I made the best decision for me at the time.
And no, this is not a decision for everyone… but the problem is, attitudes like Ily’s… well, she is a published writer. I don’t know just how big of a deal the Miami NewTimes is as far as the media in Miami. But with the internet, that isn’t really relevant. I mean look at the attention this article got across the WLS community in a matter of days. Ily is writing for a “legitimate” media site, and as such her opinions will have an influence on others. And unfortunately, I need to stand by my statement that the tone of that article was bigoted against those who choose to turn to weight loss surgery for help in their struggle against obesity.
While I don’t think our discussion last night is going to change her mind, we may have … possibly… softened a few of the rough edges of her opinion. And maybe over time, if as her editor asked for, and the conversation continues there may be further changes. We’ll see. She let us know that she has been working on a response to the feedback she’s received and is running it past her editor. I hope to see it soon, I think it will be very telling. Especially if she makes any revisions based upon our conversation last night.
And speaking of that… I added this in a comment to yesterday’s post, but this bears looking at again. The posting made by the editor after he received my feedback email:
A commenter named Rob from Minnesota just sent a note responding to this blog item. I returned the following response:
Rob,As a born Minnesotan, I naturally take offense kinda easy. But your letter particularly bothered me. Of course, we take complaints and comments seriously. I don’t feel Ily’s post was bigoted. She has struggled with something that a lot of us have. The issue struck a chord. That’s it. Neither she nor New Times have anything against any particular group, yours included. I wish you well, I really do. I just wish we could all talk as openly about the issues that concern us. CESChuck StrouseEditorMiami New Times
This was my posted response:
As the “Rob” in question that wrote you… I have not seen your response. I’m pretty sure I included my correct email address… but if you could forward it to me again at rob-at-formerfatdudes-dot-com I would appreciate it.
And I will add I was not offended. After the things I’ve been through, offending me is not an easy thing to do. Even so, that’s not the point. Nobody has the right to not be offended, especially by another’s opinion.
My beef here is that while the author has been more than willing to address replies to countless others on her previous postings, the one post that seems to have stirred up more conversation than her last dozen or so posts combined continues to be ignored.
I could see if everyone replying here was simply coming in and calling her names, shouting for her head on a platter… and while there are a few responses I see as possibly over the top, the vast majority of the responses here have been very civil.
I believe many of us here are simply hoping for, asking for a dialogue. “We” (those of us who have had weight loss surgery) are used to the need to educate others. Many of us have embraced that role.
And for the record, here is the MW definition of bigot:
a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance
Now I am not calling Ms. Goyanes a bigot… I don’t know her well enough to come to that conclusion… but the tone of this article was bigoted. It showed a definite tone of intolerance without regard to the facts.I appreciate you willing to step in here and start a dialogue, and as a regular contributor to the BariatricTV radio show on blogtalkradio tonight that Lynnda Shepherd invited Ms. Goyanes to… I would extend you the same invitation.
The one thing I want to further highlight is this statement made by the editor: “I just wish we could all talk as openly about the issues that concern us.” – I think that as part of the issue, until the response to my email, until Ily joined us on the chat last night, there had been absolutely no conversation. For nearly five days after that article was posted there as no response to the dozens of comments being left. Cripes, after the first two days when this really hit and there was 30+ comments with no response – that alone was enough to have many of us wondering if this really wasn’t just some ploy to garner web traffic.
At the end of our chat last night I extended an invitation to Ily, and I extend the same to the editor, you can email me directly or use the contact form on this site if you truly wish to continue this conversation.
And for those that missed it, here’s the radio chat from last night…
further discussions:
I hear that all the time “I should have just done what I do now and not had WLS”. But the reason we can do what we do now is because WLS has changed our brain chemistry. If you had your RnY reversed, you’d be back where you were pre-op with not being able to get full/satisfied from a meal and being hungry all the time.
We know this is true because of what happens to people who get lap bands, lose their weight and then have to have them taken out. They gain their weight back. I know several people in this situation that are dedicated, smart, try really hard not to gain their weight back, yet still do. They don’t use their band being out as an excuse not to exercise or to eat crap. They fight the weight gain. But it still happens. Then they revise to another surgery and lose the weight again.
As for being proud of yourself for kicking a heroin habit, that is something to be proud of. But thinking that doing it without methadone is somehow “better” than doing it with methadone is ‘stinking thinking.’ You have to do what works for you. If I could have kept my weight off the first time I lost 70 pounds when I used Nutri/system and not had weight loss surgery, that would have been great. But it wouldn’t have made me a better person. It just would have made me lucky.
Here’s the writer’s own follow up…
http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/shortorder/2011/08/final_its_amazing_how_people_c.php